Interview with 3 professional perverts

The pee pee policeman is not the only recently accused professional pervert. In the newspapers today, there were more reports on men you'd think you could trust violating innocent school girls. Despite the horrendous allegations, I think they deserve to speak for themselves. So I interviewed three of these now infamous dudes on Skype today: LK: Who are you? PP: I'm a renowned economist. LK: What do you like to do? PP: I like to look up girls' skirts with my secret weapon--handheld mirror!--in crowded trains. I was arrested for groping today, but I was able to discreetly hide my mirror in my pants before they confiscated it. LK: Who are you? PP: I'm an opthamologist. LK: What put you in the headlines today? PP: They say I paid a teenager to have sex with me. But they're lying. I just paid her as a contract model for my photography career. LK: I thought you were a doctor. PP: A doctor-slash-underage nude photographer. What's wrong with that? LK: Who are you? PP: I'm a kind, gentle 1st grade teacher. LK: Hey, what happened to that 25,000 yen you collected for the school field trip last spring? The kids were complaining that they never got to go to the zoo. PP: You know, I can't remember. Fell out of my pocket, maybe? I know it wasn't to pay a broke school girl I met on a phone sex service...what? You read that in the paper? That's just bullshit. The newspapers are full of shit.